Am I God or is this Hell?

night

2007-06-20T23:15:00.000-07:00

on the wet sand of the lake shore,
while the moon shines bright -
i lie alone - with me, by my side.
as i rise, i have company - i realise.
while i marvel how well he hides from the moonlight-
my shadow walks me home tonight.

Nov 20 2001

half the pain

2007-06-20T22:47:00.001-07:00

the sound of my voice dies,
half way tween you and me.
half the way is as far as i can see.
that's exactly how far my reach is.

i have come to the end,
of half the journey.
i wait there left with-
half the pain - pray me the other half.

Jan 31 2002

diary

2007-06-20T00:02:00.001-07:00

today, the sun rose,
dismantling the dream a little more.
yet another cliche i fought all thru -
opened another wound and came true.
i close my eyes some more and go to bed -
for i died my day's worth of death.

june 19 2007

sinnerman's pilgrimage

2007-06-19T23:59:00.000-07:00

offering dying flowers -
and the maggot fruit;
i climb down a thousand steps -
into the fiery pit.
as i wash my hands in angels' blood;
through the leafy smoke -
i see the distorted image.
i am on my pilgrimage.

june 19 2007

transit

2006-10-31T04:03:00.000-08:00

from what you have,
to what you dont.
all the bliss you can take,
to the piercing pain you cant.
I am the transition that you -
have so often been through.
from the breath you cried first,
to the knell you heard last.

Oct 1 2002

the skinned soul

2006-10-31T04:02:00.000-08:00

am watched over,
by men unseen-
they have no eyes.
my wounds nursed,
by the untouched-
they have no skin.
i live confined,
in a world unfelt-
it has no soul.

Jun 26 2002

the pay back birth

2006-10-31T04:01:00.000-08:00

the joy that is his, was for you.
he - your purpose, he - your love.
he was there for you,
before him - before for him.
his birth alone - his payback,
for the life debt to you.
and soon will be his,
twice the life of this.

Jun 29 2002

silver lining?

2006-10-31T04:00:00.000-08:00

the dark cloud of gloom;
descended on to its shadow.
the silver lining-
was but a bolt of lightning.
i looked up to see the ray,
but met the downpour of despair.

Oct 2 2002

save me

2006-10-31T03:59:00.001-08:00

while it breaks me-
i see it makes me.
the darker it gets,
the brighter it is.
save my destruction-
for it might save me.

May 17 2002

reality

2006-10-31T03:59:00.000-08:00

see my world - live my life.
in my dream you see and feel,
things which are more than real.
unreal is everything else,
unreal - you and me.
unreal is reality.

may 22 2002

pain

2006-10-31T03:58:00.000-08:00

Infinity in darkness,
Cognition in melancholy,
Inspiration in solitude,
Poetry in pain -
what seeth thou in beatitude?

Feb 3 2002

fallen

2006-10-31T03:50:00.001-08:00

listen to the liars' truth.
see the coward at war,
crying out laughs-twisted thoughts.
watch, the heathens rule!
fallen is thy world-
fallen are thy people.

May 17 2002

my mind

2006-10-31T03:50:00.000-08:00

they fade as i strain my vision,
letters of black - written in gold.
it blurs and darkens as i light my torch.
etched and carved - i can feel,but can i see?
as i plunge to the depths,what do i see? i see -
" I N S A N I T Y "

Mar 18 2002

doomed

2006-10-31T03:48:00.000-08:00

burnt, by the halo of fire.
on the throne of thorns-
at the altar of disdain.
clutched by tyranny the tyrant;
doomed - like a GOD in hell.

Jul 18 2002

dirt ridden

2006-10-31T03:47:00.000-08:00

i smell thee, smeared in dust.
covered in slime; i see body - thine.
hear them say,touch not - obey!
as i touch thee,with my defiance,
it was all sweet-a flood of honey.

Jun 11 2002

deadend mirror

2006-10-31T03:46:00.000-08:00

as i traversed the passage,
from one end - toward the other,
i could see the light;
unmistakingly bright.
i saw Him - as i got closer.
and when i got there -
it was but a deadend mirror.

Jul 6 2002

chaos

2006-10-31T03:45:00.001-08:00

long, it has been.
and all that i have seen,
are fixed as directions;
unchanging - unyielding.
how long will it be,
untill you bring it to me?
bring me my chaos.
that - i long to see.

Jun 17 2002

chains of virtue

2006-10-31T03:45:00.000-08:00

afraid of bravery,limited by sight.
shackled to freewill...tell tell friend,
what shall i conjure?
to move thee - so demure.

Jun 20 2002

blind lord

2006-10-31T03:42:00.000-08:00

he reigns high,
wears his head, the crown.
the lesser lord,of baser thoughts.
cursed you should be,
reason - to make him see.

Oct 3 2002

delusion

2006-09-15T22:54:00.000-07:00

i see more than there is,
feeling that which is not.
living more than my life -
more than one, more than once.
am i God or is this hell?

May 14 2002